Ways to Make the Advent Season Meaningful, not Materialistic

With family budgets much tighter this year, many parents are worried that their children may be disappointed at Christmas in not getting all they dreamed of, or worse yet, many will consider going into debt trying to purchase things they can't really afford.
So how do you bring the true meaning of Christmas back while lessening the materialistic aspects? My suggestion is to celebrate Advent with your family this year, which is the preparation time anticipating Christmas, and you can easily celebrate it by counting down the days from December 1st through the 24th. Set aside time each morning if you can, or do what we did - we read about the following day's Advent surprise at the family dinner each night, and discussed ways we could complete the assignment the next day. Please read my Advent article on the Helium website (click on the link). It explains in detail how you can create a simple Advent calendar that focuses on the true meaning of Christmas, and how to make your own Advent candle wreath to light each night during the season of Advent. Get busy: December 1st is tomorrow!

(You can cut and paste the address yourself also:
http://www.helium.com/knowledge/578080-how-to-make-the-advent-season-more-meaningful-and-less-materialistic-for-children)

Parenting Quote For the Week

 "Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children."  Words of wisdom from Charles (Chuck) Swindoll
During the upcoming busy stress-filled holiday season, when our nerves are on edge and our tempers are often quick to snap, this is a valuable quote to keep in mind. Nothing has greater impact on the self-image and inner confidence of a child than the words and actions of his or her parents.  Many parents believe they will help their children become stronger and better equipped to face the world by criticizing them and pointing out their shortcomings, but a child perceives this as disappointment and failure, not inspiration. Make sure you are filling your child's memory with positive thoughts, praise, compliments, and love - these are the tools which will build a strong self-esteem which is what a child needs most to have a happy and successful adulthood. 

Black Friday Deals Often Extend into the Weekend

If you were too tired or too burdened with the Thanksgiving clean up to be able to make the opening Black Friday sales in your area, don't despair. Many retailers offer great deals into the weekend following Thanksgiving, helping you stay well within your  budget for this year's Christmas shopping - although you probably won't be able to find that 42 inch flat screen LED HDTV for $100!. And many stores offer fabulous deals for online shoppers, like free shipping or 20% off your already discounted order. You can also research coupon codes for each retailer, and enter those in the coupon code box or promotional code box when you check out online. I have saved a fortune using coupon codes - try it and see how much more you can save.

Parenting Quote for the Week of Thanksgiving

"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts. No Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving." 
Quote by H.U. Westermayer.

Always remind your children to be thankful for all of the good things in their lives, not resentful because of the things they do not have. It is this resentment and way of thinking that will lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, because there will always be someone out there with more.The things which truly matter cannot be bought. 
When my children were young, they had friends who always had the newest video game system, a new and improved TV every year, and their parents drove the latest models of cars available. Our family, in contrast, didn't trade up our old but still working cars, TVs, or games - unless Santa brought it at Christmas. Today, our friends have lost their home and their cars in bankruptcy while we are still in our home (and I'm still driving the same car with 200,000 miles on it) even though my husband was laid off almost 3 years ago.
Here is a very appropriate prayer of thanksgiving which you might like to use as a Grace before beginning your own Thanksgiving feast:

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy Goodness sends.

By Ralph Waldo Emerson


Note: You might want to substitute "The Good Lord" for "Thy Goodness" with young children!

Make Your Family Thanksgiving Celebration More Meaningful This Year

"Help! I don't want my kids growing up thinking that Thanksgiving is just a day off to pig out and watch football."
This comment made to me by one of my friends with young children might resonate with others out there as well, so I thought I would share the advice I gave her with the rest of you who might be thinking the same thing. An inexpensive way to bring a little meaning back into this holiday starts with a trip to your local public library (or your own bookshelf if you have a good selection of Thanksgiving holiday stories). You can also
look up "first Thanksgiving" or "Pilgrim life" or a similar search term on your computer, and copy/paste your favorite facts, and then print them out. Call a family meeting the day before Thanksgiving, making it special by serving hot chocolate, or make this the topic of discussion around the dinner table. Talk about the first Thanksgiving with your family, asking your children to share what they can remember from learning about the Pilgrims and Thanksgiving at school. You might be surprised at how much they already know. Discuss why they made this very long, hard, and dangerous trip in the first place, and discuss what the voyage must have been like for them. (If you don't know, google it, or look in the books.) About half of the Pilgrims died on the voyage - it was definitely not a pleasure cruise! Discuss what they found when they landed on Plymouth Rock. The Pilgrims were exhausted, weak, sick, and arrived in a wild land where there was nothing - no houses, no hot showers, no stoves, no fireplaces - they had to build everything and figure out how to find food, water, and survive. And a cold winter was quickly approaching! Luckily the Native Americans they met were friendly (but they didn't know that at first) and helpful in teaching them new ways to survive. After their first harvest, the Pilgrims held a feast to celebrate their survival in this new land, and invited their Native American friends to join them. These facts are all great conversation starters for talking about standing up for what you believe in, perservering even when it's hard, the meaning of true friendship, bravery and courage, trying new solutions to solve problems, and more. Challenge your children to think about and list all the things they have in their lives that the Pilgrims did not have, and what things are most important and valuable to each of them.
Then on Thanksgiving day, just before you begin your own feast when you are all gathered around the table, let each family member and guest give thanks for something they are grateful for in their own lives. This is a wonderful way to bring meaning back into your Thanksgiving holiday. The first time we did this in our family, my son, who was six at the time, announced, "I am thankful that I wasn't a Pilgrim!". Clearly, he got the point of this exercise! :)

May you and your family and guests share a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Unique and Inexpensive Ways to Involve Children in Getting Ready for Thanksgiving

"I wish I could get my kids more involved in the Thanksgiving holiday." 
If this sounds familiar, read on for some fresh ideas about including the younger set in planning and hosting Thanksgiving this year without spending a lot of money!
 
For some great tips and original ideas on how to include children of all ages in the Thanksgiving festivities, read my simple Thanksgiving skits article on the Helium web site (click on the link).

Or you can cut and paste the link yourself if you prefer:
http://www.helium.com/items/2253915-simple-skits-children-can-do-for-thanksgiving-guests

Parenting Quote for the Week

"All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others." Words of wisdom from Michael Carr.

This is such an important message for parents to remember. When my daughter was in preschool in a young fives program, one of her classmates began reading. I got very worried that perhaps I was doing something wrong, because my daughter was not yet reading - I was worried that I might be doing something that was holding my child's progress back, as silly as that sounds. Her teacher shared this quote with me, as a reminder that there really isn't an exact timetable that a child's development follows; it is not an exact science. This was a valuable lesson for me, because at each pediatrician's visit from birth, my child's progress had been measured against predicted benchmarks and I had grown to believe that this was how children's growth and developed should be gauged. 

My advice to all parents: Remember that your child is an individual, with hidden talents and abilities which will be revealed when your child's growth and development decide it is time. Resist the human tendency to compare your precious child to other children (especially older siblings - each child has his or her own timetable!)

If your child expresses self doubt and notices a difference in his or her abilities as compared to classmates, first and foremost, reassure your child that he or she is smart, capable, and list all the things they do well to remind them of all of their accomplishments. Tell your child that everyone and everything grows at different rates, there isn't a right or wrong time. In private, discuss your child's development with the teacher and even the pediatrician, and be open and eager to hear what they have to say. It might be the first step in identifying an underlying condition or learning disability which might be impeding your child's progress - and in this event, the earlier you can take steps to intervene, the sooner your child will improve!

A great read on this subject for parents and children: "Leo the Late Bloomer" by Robert Kraus

Dress for Success: Part 1 The Pre- and Elementary School Years

"What are the best sources for highly affordable clothing for the under 10 set?"
In these tough economic times when every opportunity to save counts, there are many ways to spend less when shopping for young children - whether you want to purchase brand new clothing at a discount, or preowned clothing. Here are some points to consider in deciding which way you want to go:

1. Up to a certain age, most children do not care much about what they wear - except perhaps that it is colorful, and probably has some sort of cool graphics. While they are in this wonderful stage, preowned clothing is your best option for saving money.
2. Children grow quickly - they will likely out grow every piece of clothing long before it it worn out. Again, preowned clothing is your best option for saving money.
3. If your child is obsessed with a particular currently popular tv or movie or video game character or subject, you will probably only find popular subject matter on new clothing. This also holds true for clothing which is new on the fashion scene - unless it is a trend from the past which has become popular again, but this can be a challenging and time consuming search in the preowned clothing world - you will probably be better off purchasing new clothing in this case.
4. If you are artistic and already own sewing supplies, you can alter used clothing to give it a new look. Many people are under the misguided impression that you can save a lot of money by making your own clothes. Realistically, it can actually be more costly. And on top of the cost of materials, there is the cost of all of the time and effort you must expend to make it.

Once you have decided what type of clothing you want (preowned or new), here are some ways to find the best deals:

Used Clothing Sources: In a previous post, I explained the advantages of shopping at Consignment Stores, Thrift Stores, Goodwill stores, and Salvation Army stores. Another great source for quality preowned clothing is the ebay website: http://www.ebay.com/

For preowned items, ebay provides you with the greatest selection. If you are unfamiliar with bidding and buying on ebay, read the tutorials on the website. 
Here are few tips and guidelines I follow when  purchasing through ebay: I only bid or buy from sellers who have a 100% (or very close to it) feedback score, meaning all of their customers/business partners have been satisfied. If the score is lower than that, I will look at the comments/situations which lowered the score and decide if I should be concerned, or if the person who complained was just a nutcase. I also look for sellers who offer a refund - no refund, no purchase! Photos are important too, so you can see what you are buying - I skip past ads without photos. I also look for ads which contain a lot of detail - in my experience, these are sellers who want to accurately portray what they are selling. If information is missing, ask before you bid or buy. Many sellers will sell large quantities of clothing in a "lot" - you can search for these by entering terms like "T shirt lot" or "size 6x lot". Be sure to check the shipping charges before you bid or buy - and don't hesitate to ask for reduced or discounted shipping. Many sellers are willing to do this to make a sale. Ebay shopping can be a lot of fun and can save you a lot of money, but it may take you a while to find the perfect deal. Be patient, and don't rush - take your time, and you will likely be thrilled with the results.

New clothing sources: Many retail stores offer clothing at standard low prices. It may not be the best quality out there, but for the brief amount of time kids wear it before they've outgrown it, it will hold up. Look at stores such as Target, Old Navy, Kohls, Wal-Mart, KMart, Marshalls, Ross, and JCPenney to name just a few, for low priced clothing year round. Higher end department stores like Macys and Bloomingdales also offer great discounts through sales which you can increase with store coupons, available by mail and in the newspaper. Always ask at the counter if there are any discounts/coupons they can apply for you - very often they will scan a coupon or code even if you don't have it in hand. These stores offer the best bargains at holiday time and when items are out of season - but you can save a fortune with a little planning ahead.
(Claire's has always been a favorite place for girls to shop for cute and inexpensive accessories such as hair clips and bows, jewelry, purses, and belts.)

The Wonderful World of Consignment: A Practical and Easy Way to Save Money and Even Earn a Little

You can find quality clothing in excellent preowned condition for a fraction of what these items would cost new at a retail store. My own children had wardrobes which included brands I would never have been able to afford except at consignment clothing stores! This is also an excellent way to get a little money back when your children outgrow clothes long before they are worn out. There are many consignment clothing stores in existence today, most of which require you to make an appointment in advance so they can look over the clothing you would like to sell and help you decide on pricing. The store keeps a percentage of the items which sell, and you get the rest. We made a trip to the consignment store every month when my children were young, and it was always something they looked forward to. I never spent more than $5 on anything and I saved a fortune! Many consignment stores also carry toys - another opportunity to recycle and earn a little cash back, especially on those baby items which are used for only a brief time period.
Another great source for quality used clothing are the stores run by donation centers like Goodwill, Salvation Army, Thrift Stores, and others. Stores which collect from more expensive neighborhoods often have very high quality merchandise, some of it may never have even been used. The money you spend goes to helping people in need, so there is double value in shopping in these stores.You can find local listings online - go visit one and see what treasures you might find!

Most Popular Beginning Reading Series

"What books should my beginning reader be reading?"

In addition to Dr. Seuss' books, Arnold Lobel's "Frog and Toad" stories are funny, delightful, and always contain a wonderful example of true friendship and loyalty. Another charming series in "Henry and Mudge" by Cynthia Rylant, especially for children who love dogs, or wish they had one of their own. All of these are available in paperback, making them very affordable. They are also popular enough that most public libraries have a great supply on hand. 
For a longer and more detailed list of recommended book series and authors for children by age group, please follow this link to my article on the Helium web site: http://www.helium.com/items/2254886-popular-book-series-for-children

Best and Most Inexpensive Reading Sources for Beginning Readers

"Help! My child is just learning to read. But the books I have are difficult and my child is getting frustrated. How can I find inexpensive books that won't be too hard?"
 
This is such a common concern from parents whose children are just learning to read. Generally, the best books for beginning readers will have lots of illustrations - this is important because the pictures will provide clues for figuring out what the words say. You should help direct your child to look at the illustrations, asking questions or pointing out specific things that will help them when they are stuck. Children should be trying to sound out words, so listen to their attempts and correct them if they are trying the wrong sound for a letter. With vowels (a,e,i,o,u and y) each one has two sounds: the short sound, (like in cat, egg, stick, pot, cut) and the long sound (or name sound: game, week, rice, boat, mule) - readers should always try the short sound first, and if that doesn't work, then try the long sound. Beginning readers should track as they read, placing a finger beneath each word. For really slow readers, take turns: let your child read a line, and you read the next line. Be sure to model good reading habits, like tracking, reading with expression, and you might even get "stuck" on a word and let your child help you sound it out! :) Give lots of praise for their efforts, and be sure to ask them questions as they read to make certain they are understanding what they read, not just sounding out words. MOST IMPORTANTLY, never stop reading aloud to your child, even after they have become a proficient reader! This is precious experience, and children become better readers while listening to others read aloud. This can be a magical time for both of you, and it allows your child to experience books they are not yet ready to read by themselves. This is an amazing opportunity for you to share a special experience with your child: enjoying a great story together. Make it a part of your daily routine - fifteen minutes before bedtime is a perfect time to set aside. As far as subject matter is concerned, try to find books on topics your child is interested in: animals, humor, sports, dinosaurs, etc. Also try to introduce poetry books, because the rhyming helps give clues about which words might come next. Many public libraries employ a children's librarian who can help you find appropriate books. Also look for other opportunities to practice reading, like menus at restaurants, labels on products at the market, street signs while driving, etc. I highly recommend the wonderful beginning reading books written by Dr. Seuss, and any other authors that have the Dr. Seuss Cat in the Hat logo printed on the cover.

Reading at Home: Free and Inexpensive Ways to Enhance Your Child's Reading Development

For families who are opting to educate their children in a home school environment today, or for those who simply want to encourage their child's reading development at home, here are some excellent ways to promote reading skills every day on a tight budget
1. Make visiting the local public library a special and regularly scheduled event. Help your child obtain a library card of his or her own (it's free!) when they are reading. Celebrate this event with a special meal or card or paperback book - this is a milestone event, and a privilege and a responsibility! Brag about this accomplishment to grandparents, teachers, etc. And be sure to help your child check out, read, and return appropriate books every week
2. Read aloud to your child - don't stop when they have learned to read on their own! Reading aloud can model fluency, reading with expression, and instills the concept that reading is a valuable way to spend time - so much so that Mom or Dad makes time for it every day, no matter how busy they are. Be sure to ask and answer questions as you read - this will help your child's understanding and keep them involved.
3. Let your child dictate and illustrate a story to you, and make sure you write down your child's exact words. Then type it up, print it out, and glue it under their illustrations to make a storybook. Now your child has a book he or she can read, using his or her own vocabulary!
4. Buy a pack of 3x5 file cards, and neatly print words and tape them to things is your child's room and around the house: clock, door, window, lamp, sink, etc. The more objects you can label, the better! Kids will soon be reading so many words, and they will feel so proud.
5. Collect some photos of favorite people, places, and activities in your child's life. Buy a simple composition notebook, and neatly print: All About (Your child's name)  By Mom (or Dad) on the first page. Glue a photo on each page, and neatly print a short simple sentence beneath the photo. For example: Every morning, David helps feed Bozo the dog. Or: On special days, Grandma Nana and Grampy come to play with David! (These very special books were my own children's favorites for years - and have been set aside in their memory boxes!)
6. Keep a record of the titles of the books your child reads. Plan a special celebration when your child has read 100 books - maybe a trip to a museum or park or a local bookstore. You can find copies of used books still in excellent condition online for a fraction of what they cost new - if you have a computer, let your child browse through some books and choose a few titles to purchase as a reward.

Make reading something you do every day, and your child will too!